School counselors and psychologists: Here are 31 ways to engage students who resist counseling.

<p>
<p style="margin-left:36.0pt;"><em>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m fine. There&rsquo;s nothing wrong with me!&rdquo;</em></p>

<p style="margin-left:36.0pt;"><em>&ldquo;Honestly, no grownup is going to be able to help me. You wouldn&rsquo;t understand.&rdquo;</em></p>

<p style="margin-left:36.0pt;"><em>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t want to talk about my feelings. Talking about them won&rsquo;t fix my life anyway.&rdquo;</em></p>

<p style="margin-left:36.0pt;"><em>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t trust adults, especially not counselors or therapists.&rdquo;</em></p>

<p style="margin-left:36.0pt;"><em>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t have time for this.&rdquo;</em></p>

<p>It may seem like a child or teen who is reluctant, resistant or completely averse to counseling just has a chip on their shoulder. But school psychologists and counselors know there&rsquo;s always a reason underlying surface behaviors like avoidance. School psychologists and counselors are also well aware they are uniquely positioned to help, often when no one else can. Engaging students who show an aversion to therapy is a true talent. It takes expertise, creativity, dedication, time and tenacity. The results can be life-altering.</p>

<p>Read on to learn about:</p>

<ul>
	<li>Ways students show reluctance to counseling</li>
	<li>Reasons behind reluctance to counseling</li>
	<li>How to engage reluctant students</li>
</ul>

<h2>Ways Students Show Reluctance to Counseling</h2>

<p>From avoidance to aggression, resistance can show up in various ways. To resist counseling or therapy, students might:</p>

<ul>
	<li>Skip sessions</li>
	<li>Show up late</li>
	<li>Refuse to talk</li>
	<li>Act disinterested or disengaged</li>
	<li>Respond defensively</li>
	<li>Deny they are experiencing problems</li>
	<li>Minimize issues</li>
	<li>Show anger or aggression</li>
</ul>

<h2>Ways Students Show Resistance in the Classroom and at School</h2>

<p>Resistance among students shows up not only when working with school psychologists or counselors. Students may be referred for counseling, therapy or evaluation because they show resistance in the classroom and beyond. They may:</p>

<ul>
	<li>Refuse to attend school</li>
	<li>Leave during the school day</li>
	<li>Avoid participating in class</li>
	<li>Practice &ldquo;learned helplessness&rdquo;</li>
	<li>Lack interest or motivation</li>
	<li>Procrastinate on assignments</li>
	<li>Isolate from friends and family</li>
	<li>Resist classroom rules and instructions</li>
	<li>Disrupt others</li>
	<li>Complain frequently</li>
	<li>Move around excessively</li>
	<li>Shut down completely</li>
</ul>

<h2>The Why: Reasons Students May Resist Counseling</h2>

<p>Regardless of how resistance shows up, there&rsquo;s always a reason behind it. School counselors and psychologists can seek to understand the &ldquo;why.&rdquo; For example, students may:</p>

<ul>
	<li>Fear they&rsquo;re in trouble</li>
	<li>Not understand the psychologist or counselor is an ally who is there to help them</li>
	<li>Worry that what they say to the counselor will not be confidential</li>
	<li>Be afraid other kids will judge them for receiving therapy or counseling</li>
	<li>Have cultural expectations that stigmatize therapy, counseling or mental health issues</li>
	<li>Be concerned about change</li>
	<li>Face emotional barriers like shame, guilt or anger</li>
	<li>Struggle academically</li>
	<li>Face family problems or issues at home</li>
	<li>Be experiencing bullying</li>
	<li>Have problems with a teacher or administrator</li>
	<li>Have recently moved and changed schools</li>
	<li>Seek attention</li>
	<li>Feel bored or overwhelmed</li>
	<li>Have medical issues like illness or missed medication</li>
	<li>Be having a bad day</li>
	<li>Feel hungry or sleepy</li>
</ul>

<h2>31 Ways to Engage Reluctant Students</h2>

<p>As you strive to engage even the most resistant student, remember it may take time. You might have to brainstorm creative solutions. You&rsquo;ll undoubtedly have to tailor your approach to each individual. The reward is well worth the effort. When you experience a breakthrough with a student, you&rsquo;ll recall that this is why you entered the field.</p>

<p>To engage reluctant students:</p>

<ol>
	<li>Start by building rapport</li>
	<li>Use fun and engaging ice-breakers and therapy activities</li>
	<li>Ensure you deeply understand the student&rsquo;s culture, background, living situation, disabilities, etc.</li>
	<li>Use social-emotional learning videos related to the student&rsquo;s specific issues (<a href="https://counselingfannypack.com/working-with-students-who-dont-know-why-they-are-going-to-counseling/">Swezea</a>)</li>
	<li>Involve peers or use group therapy (<a href="https://counselingfannypack.com/working-with-students-who-dont-know-why-they-are-going-to-counseling/">Swezea</a>)</li>
	<li>Provide sensory items like kinetic sand or paper and crayons for comfort (<a href="https://counselingfannypack.com/working-with-students-who-dont-know-why-they-are-going-to-counseling/">Swezea</a>)</li>
	<li>Examine your own implicit bias to help create a safe space for students of all backgrounds (<a href="https://www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources-and-podcasts/diversity-and-social-justice/social-justice/social-justice-lesson-plans/understanding-race-and-privilege-suggestions-for-facilitating-challenging-conversations">NASP</a>)</li>
	<li>Seek to understand &ldquo;the why&rdquo; behind the resistance</li>
	<li>Get the student the appropriate resources to address underlying issues (like food or housing insecurity, bullying, abuse, academic difficulties, anxiety, depression, learning disabilities, etc.)</li>
	<li>Allow the student to take breaks as needed</li>
	<li>Provide visual representation of emotions that help kids express their feelings</li>
	<li>Show compassion</li>
	<li>Set up a team including parents, therapists, teachers and administrators to help the student</li>
	<li>Model interactive behaviors for the student</li>
	<li>Praise the student for specific efforts and activities</li>
	<li>Explain that making mistakes is a normal part of the learning process</li>
	<li>Teach students how to develop resilience and &ldquo;grit&rdquo;</li>
	<li>Work on building self-esteem and talk about the importance of self-worth</li>
	<li>Help students deal with major issues by breaking them into smaller issues</li>
	<li>Have students generate goals with you and tasks to achieve those goals</li>
	<li>Establish and implement a routine (<a href="https://www.warner.rochester.edu/blog/school-counseling-expert-offers-tips-supporting-students-with-behavioral-mental-health-concerns">Rochester.edu</a>)</li>
	<li>Listen to students&rsquo; concerns (<a href="https://www.warner.rochester.edu/blog/school-counseling-expert-offers-tips-supporting-students-with-behavioral-mental-health-concerns">Rochester.edu</a>)</li>
	<li>Restate students&rsquo; concerns to ensure understanding</li>
	<li>Increase family support (<a href="https://www.warner.rochester.edu/blog/school-counseling-expert-offers-tips-supporting-students-with-behavioral-mental-health-concerns">Rochester.edu</a>)</li>
	<li>Encourage students to have voice and agency (<a href="https://www.warner.rochester.edu/blog/school-counseling-expert-offers-tips-supporting-students-with-behavioral-mental-health-concerns">Rochester.edu</a>)</li>
	<li>Tell them to think of you as a coach (<a href="https://www.warner.rochester.edu/blog/school-counseling-expert-offers-tips-supporting-students-with-behavioral-mental-health-concerns">childmind.org</a>)</li>
	<li>Focus on what students ARE willing to work on (<a href="https://ct.counseling.org/2020/05/engaging-avoidant-teens/">Counseling Today</a>)</li>
	<li>Avoid hard-selling therapy (<a href="https://ct.counseling.org/2020/05/engaging-avoidant-teens/">Counseling Today</a>)</li>
	<li>Avoid gestures, facial expressions and comments students can interpret as judgmental (<a href="https://ct.counseling.org/2020/05/engaging-avoidant-teens/">Counseling Today</a>)</li>
	<li>Be transparent (<a href="https://ct.counseling.org/2020/05/engaging-avoidant-teens/">Counseling Today</a>)</li>
	<li>Use first person plural language, using &ldquo;we&rdquo; and &ldquo;our&rdquo; rather than &ldquo;you&rdquo; and &ldquo;your&rdquo; (<a href="https://ct.counseling.org/2020/05/engaging-avoidant-teens/">Counseling Today</a>)</li>
</ol>

<p>All the best in your endeavors to make breakthroughs with students and improve their lives. Although some days can be tough, take heart that if you want to help others, especially young people, you&rsquo;re in the right career!</p>

<p>To discover where students need your specialized skills in exciting locations nationwide, check out our <a href="https://www.crosscountry.com/education">school psychologist and school counselor jobs here</a>!</p>


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